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Your attention (please!)

Don’t babysit grown-ups.

This might sound like a lapalissade but people crave for your attention.

We live in a world of full of calls to listen/action (ads, social media, etc.) from brands and organizations. But for those, you can click a button or flick a switch and all that noise goes away. Those brands will carry on and their feelings won’t be hurt.

My problem is with the humans, especially relatives.

Because you are family there’s this pressure to be together, to listen. It’s not like they appreciate your attention… they crave it! Otherwise, they’ll be sad, hurt, disappointed, and all that jazz.

Maybe I’m a terrible person but I like to think I’m just…

Emotionally self-sustainable

I pursue that goal. It makes me independent, resilient, even happier. After all, you become your own master. You are in control. You don’t need anyone else to feel good.

You are aware of your mood and you know exactly what to do to improve it. You are your own master.

Socializing with others becomes a “desert” instead of the “main course”, i.e. something delicious when you have it, but superfluous nonetheless. I guess I apply frugality to relationships. It’s a skill that comes easy when you’re an introvert.

If you were a babysitter, which kid would you prefer:

  • the kid you can leave alone and has fun all by himself/herself?
  • the kid who pants and requires that you play with him/her all the time?

Don’t babysit grown-ups.

One reply on “Your attention (please!)”

True, no one has patience for “needy” people but, from one introvert to another, I’ve discovered that having a strong social fabric around you makes your life much, much richer. More chaotic, more erratic, and more confused at times. So, so much richer, though! 🙂

A few things your post reminded me of…

From the awesome “wear sunscreen” article (strongly recommend the Baz Luhrmann song based on it, btw):

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

A second thought relates to something I read quite recently: have you considered if “ego” isn’t getting in the way? https://sivers.org/ego

I mean, sometimes to be with others means we need to get out of ourselves, our focus, put ourselves in second plan instead of front & center like we normally do “emotionally self-sustainable”… and that’s not easy to do 🙂

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