Disclaimer: This post contains sad and dark thoughts. If your empathy makes you vulnerable to such thoughts please stop reading.
Disclaimer: This post addresses suicidal thoughts. If you are having them, please seek local profissional help today. This post does not serve as advice, I’m no expert.
As a kid I wanted to live until I was 100. As a young adult I dreamt of immortality. I could not understand why someone would want to end it sooner.
Now I can.
Pain and suffering make you humble and grateful for what you have. But such feelings also deceive you, leading to mental issues such as depression. You assume your current suffering will persist one… ten… thirty years. You assume you will never recover, like that’s your new life. These assumptions are a shadow that just won’t leave you.
That mindset – when you lose hope about getting better – suicide becomes very tempting. Ending your life reassures you are in control. A quick death frees you from all that pain and solves all problems. If you are going to die anyway, why endure the pain until that moment?
The void is seductive – the worse you are, the greater the pull. The only thing preventing you from jumping into the void are “safety barriers”. Some people have more and higher barriers and that’s what keeps them alive. You must build those safety barriers.
True, you would end your suffering, but think for a moment about your friends and family. How much pain would you cause them?
It was an unbearable suffering that made you jump… Why would you want to inflict a similar suffering to the people that love you?
What will you be missing out? The world has so much to give you: experiences, places, people, culture, achievements.
If you jump you will miss all that – the memories you created, the ones yet to be created.
Others didn’t get the luxury of your choice. Their precious life stolen away, too soon.
You are blessed and you’re giving away that blessing.
If it makes you sleep better, yes, you are in control of your life, you can end it at any moment. It’s like an emergency pill – it’s there if you really really really need it.
Just don’t use it yet.
Mental states are like storms.
You see them coming slowly towards you. They are sad and destructive. The world changes color. Sometimes you see a brief opening just to darken again. You never know how long they’ll last. But eventually they move along and sunshine returns. Always.
Give life a chance, another day. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe in a month. Maybe, you don’t know. You will only know for sure if you stay alive and give it a try.
There’s a chance.
While you’re alive, there’s a chance.